So far it hasn't turned out quite that way. I handed in my final paper weeks ago, and wrote my exam last week. And I think that the very moment I raised my hand for the exam proctor to take away my booklet of bullshit answers with a few key vocabulary terms thrown in, all cognitive ability vacated my brain. Like just shat out my ear. Taking with it of course everything I learned in the class, and my drive to write about lipstick and Romanian deadlifts. I've been in a near vegetative state the last few days, only able to lay in bed watching YouTube and eating Easter chocolate, occasionally getting up to do some squats and lunges so I don't lose all muscle function as well. When I look back on this time, I will think of it as the Great Crash of 2014.
But I'm ready to wipe the drool off my face and get back at it. I really do hope to write and film a lot over the summer. I love writing this blog, and I got WAY more shit to say. But since I am still just recovering from my mental collapse, I am going to have to start out pretty slow and fluffy. Like a baby bunny that hasn't learned to hop yet.
(Note :I was gonna remove that weird bunny analogy, but I felt it was good evidence of my weakened mental state)
Like I said, I have been watching a lot of YouTube the last couple days. And I ain't been watching no political documentaries. It's been a steady flow of makeup tutorials and music videos for songs I might like to dance to sometime this summer. And that's obviously gonna include Beyonce. But don't worry, I know we've passed the point where it's ok to keep talking about The Visual Album. We gotta pretend we're over it, for a few months at least. But that's ok. We've got 4 Destiny's Child (5 if you count the Christmas Album) and 4 other Bey solo albums to talk about, so let's get the conversation started.
Everyone has shit to say about our girls. Are the feminist? Are they perpetuating gender stereotypes? Are they positive role models? And how did Michelle get there? I probably don't have anything new to add, but I also don't get tired of DC, so I'm just going to get right in to telling you my thoughts on my favourite songs, and hope that the rest of you are as devoted fans as I am.
And I promise, I've been drinking my Kombucha and I started reading a new self help book, so hopefully soon I'll be writing about something with a little more substance. Like facial hair bleaching or something. Look out.
Alright, let's get this dance paryt/trip down memory lane started. Here's what I think about 5 of my favourite Destiny's Child songs/music videos.
1. No No No Part 2- Destiny's Child is one of the few musical acts that I can remember liking since the moment the first single dropped. This is the only song from the original lineup that made the cut-sorry Letoya, and Latavia, it's nothing personal. I remember finding out that the girls were like 16 or 17 when this came out and just being like...my life blows. Kind of the same way that we still feel about Beyonce today. But I loved this song, and I still do. I even memorized Wyclef's rap part. Yeah, I do that. If you ever hear me rap, you will know that I truly love you. Or that I'm very drunk.
Favourite Line: What's the problem baby, never had a girl like I?
2. Lose My Breath- This is one of my main struttin' songs. You know, those songs that you put on your when you're walking somewhere and you want to feel like the boss. I think this video was made during at the height of the terrible Tina Knowles costume design era. Those burgundy pirate looking suits are what the fuuuuuuuuug. But you also get to see Ghetto B here, rocking low slung baggy jeans and Tims, ooh girl. And Kelly really gets down with some wild dance moves. Michelle is there too.
Favourite Line: You don't have no business in this, here's your papers baby you are dismissed
(actually this is probably my favourite line in any DC song ever)
3. Soldier-This is my #1 all time favourite Destiny's Child track. This is the girls doing what they do best-making us want boyfriends who sell drugs and buy us things with the profits. This video also features T.I and a very young Lil Wayne. And scary looking dogs. And very pregnant Solange. And Beyonce in overalls. and Kelly in full length fur. And Michelle is there too.
Favourite Line: The whole song.
4. Girl-This song starts to show the other side of what Destiny's Child, and later Beyonce, is all about. Rather than just talking about how men are dogs, this song is an ode to female friendship. Girls being there for each other when their men acting up. Sometimes I listen to it when I'm sad, and it makes me feel like Beyonce is actually really there for me. It's not pathetic. No it's not.
Favourite Line: I'm your girl, you're my girl, we your girls, and don't you know that we love you
5. Cater 2 U- Ok people don't like this song. It's all about a woman serving her man, and critics think it's way too much about traditional gender roles. But I love it, and I saved it for last for a reason. Take a look at the other 4 songs. They're all about what a woman wants from a man, or about men being dogs. That's what most of DC's songs are about. So you can't look at this song and get mad about it without looking at their entire discography-which you should be reviewing on a regular basis. If there was a guy who had a bunch of songs about fucking hoes, and then they had one really romantic song we'd be like aww that one song is so sweet. So yeah, after a long day of selling drugs and buying you gifts, it's nice for you to cater to your man. Or even if he just like, works at a bank and is really good to you, once in a while you can take care of him too. Michelle looks incredibly uncomfortable in this video. Like how did I get here, and why am I naked? Next to Beyonce!??
Favourite Line: Whatever you desire, I'll supply ya
Alright that's all I got for now. I mean, I could go on at length about Destiny's Child, there's so many sub-topics. But this fluffy bunny post really took a lot of effort for me. I'm warming it up though, and I have a lot of ideas for upcoming posts. Hope everyone is well, and if there's anything you think I should write about let me know. Thanks for reading.